another pretty day....

I didn't enjoy it much though....

I've felt kind of crappy for a while now, but today was really bad.
My stomach was worse than it has been in a lot of years... and I had a ridiculously intense headache to accompany it - which resulted in most of my day consisting of me having not eaten, curled up in a ball, listening to LOTR cause looking at it hurt my eyes too much....

everything hurts too much lately...

today was pretty....

slushy, and poorly plowed... but very pretty - even hardcore boys agree.

so ,it was nice to take a few minutes to appreciate that...
and the simple niceties...
warm coffee and free cookies and good conversation I could do with more often....

not long back into school...
It's been a pretty rough couple of weeks....
I've been sick for a while now...
it manifests in a few different ways and it doesn't seem to be getting any better...
I was stranded for a day...my car betrayed me, but we're fine now...

my brain has been hurting a lot...
i never realized confusion could be a continuous state...
greek, philosophy, life in general - perhaps you could just figure yourself out for me....that would be lovely...not likely, you say? I know... but it'd stil be lovely...

2 and a half months and I am done....
I've yet to declare it too openly, but I have decided it is too late and I am too uncertain to apply for grad school in the fall....
I am taking an indefinite amount of time to figure my crap out...
continue to peddle maiden cds for a living and see if I can actually make a living at it...
monday nights have become heavier on the pink than the blue and I enjoy it....
I can think of worse fates.

so that's one of those new years' resolutions I made taken care of - more or less...
the other one...
no idea.
on hold, I think - put off until the world decides its time....
I followed thru on part of it - in a sort of trial by fire type way - no idea where it goes now tho....
lets hope I make it....

Tonight I decided I needed a break...
from too many dead languages...
I decided to watch a movie - I bought Tombstone yesterday at hmv. I haven't seen it since I was about 14; I really liked it then. It's still pretty damn good, but possibly in a different way than I remember...
I'm amazed at how much of the wicked dialogue I still know line for line in my head...
and there are so many actors in it.....
Brian couldn't believe I liked it. Guess people aren't always as easy to read as we think.....
fuck I wish they were tho.....

there was a funny story too, and I really wanted to tell it.....but i don't know how.....

and so it begins.....

Bleh - new years.

Usually my most hated time of year (well except blistering summers in landlocked mainland provinces). This year it was nice - I hung out with a few friends...low-key, relaxed, nothing fancy, and Dawn and Mark were my New years' kisses. = )

Dawn asked if I was making resolutions.....I don't know really - I often try to make *something* maybe 'decisions' more than anything. I made two last year; one I did not follow through on.....though I had tried to but other elements messed with me, and are in fact still doing thier best. The second I did pretty fucking good with - especially for me - though I think I may have lost it a little this past week or so....

But at any rate I think I will make one or two for this year. I going to need to have care for something that didn't need any before and to figure out my own mind - this is disheartening but important and I believe it is worth the effort; and I also need to make some post-spring decisions about what the hell I'm doing with my life.....depending on how this term unfolds, of course. I cannot do another one like last term. I just can't.

In related news, for those of you who gave a shit - I finally checked my grades and tried to register. The grades were acceptable - though I'm not even sure a colum of 100's would have satisfied me in terms of the stress and difficulty that went into them....the registering has proved tangly......and I am having loan issues.......please friend don't hate me if it all goes to hell......



As for Christmas - it was ok. I guess it's never really everything you want it to be, and it'll never feel quite as awesome as when you were a kid and all you had to think about was which giant package you went to first. It was very busy, and too short, and came too quickly, with no snow until boxing day. I didn't feel very good and I didn't relax much. But I got my christmas cards done and was pretty satisfied with the results, though only a few people seems to really appreciate them this year. I saw people I haven't seen in ages, like mark, which is awesome but they go again too fucking quickly....... and I missed people who were gone, like Gillian and Adam, and even some who were here....

Shows were in short demand - which is pretty weird for the festive season. I saw Glenn Nutio and White Tara, wich was a pretty enjoyable show; and I saw a little known act I can only refer to as 898, who were pretty impressive, in terms of talent as well as enthusiasm; I saw Jigger at junctions, which was a pretty terrible show, though Jigger as usual were fantastic and it was nice to see Phil and Geoff.... Junctions is a truly horendous bar now (more than ever) and I think its bad energy has permeated my soul in some way. ick. e-vibes and hostyle-attire I cast thee out.....

Music: The Black Keys - Magic Potion